Yesterday before noon, I cried half a dozen times. Between noon and 3 pm, I cried another half dozen times. I just can't stop. All this crying continued today, too. They aren't all sad tears, some are happy tears. Happy tears from listening to Kadence talk about how if Cruella De Vil ever comes to take her puppy she'll call the cops and watching her finish a puzzle all by herself. Happy tears from listening Karlie sing "A B C D A B C D A B C D" and watching her smear yogurt all over herself...and the table....and the chair. But, then there's the sad tears, too. They should be happy tears because I'm getting to have these moments, but they're sad because I'm choosing to not see the positive side of this right now. I cried when I rocked Karlie to sleep for her nap. Yes, I still rock my two year-old to sleep. I cried when Kadence told me "M-O-M-O-M-O-Y, that spells my favorite mommy!" I don't want these days to end. Robert tries to make me feel better by saying that the girls are going to grow up and go to school someday, but that's them leaving me, not me leaving them!
Missing the girls isn't all I'm worried about. I'm stressing out about laundry, school work, and everything else that I usually do during the day. If I'm pooped after being home all day, how am I going to survive being at work all day and then coming home to do everything I didn't do?! I know just a few days ago I was saying how much I love my hubby, so I hate to do this. I asked Rob if he's going to help cook dinner and get the girls to bed so I'll be able to do homework, and you know what he said??? "No, because that's the woman's job." FURIOUS. That's all I'm going to say about that. He will be helpful. I'll have to light a fire under his butt, but he WILL be helpful :)
I was going to take a Maymester class, but I think it's a idea better to get into our new groove without having to devote 3 hours a night to homework. That and a short break before summer classes start will be very much appreciated! I'm really anxious to know what branch I'll be working at and get to speak with the manager about my schedule. Everything is up in the air right now, and all I'm sure about is the schedule for training the first two weeks I'll be working. That's another thing that stresses me out. I hope I'll be able to go in late one morning a week so that I can take a class at the school. Chemistry and/or Physics online just isn't going to work for me. I also hope that I'll be able to leave early enough to make a night class. As a loyal follower of ratemyprofessor.com, I've learned that most of the Brit Lit professors have HORRIBLE online classes, so I don't want to chance hating my life for a semester by trying to take it online. I'm just thinking too much right now. I need to sit back and take it one day at a time. I KNOW we will all be fine, this is just the worrier in me doing it's best work.
I'm going to think positive now. I've got a week to soak up as many smiles and as much laughter as I can.
Missing the girls isn't all I'm worried about. I'm stressing out about laundry, school work, and everything else that I usually do during the day. If I'm pooped after being home all day, how am I going to survive being at work all day and then coming home to do everything I didn't do?! I know just a few days ago I was saying how much I love my hubby, so I hate to do this. I asked Rob if he's going to help cook dinner and get the girls to bed so I'll be able to do homework, and you know what he said??? "No, because that's the woman's job." FURIOUS. That's all I'm going to say about that. He will be helpful. I'll have to light a fire under his butt, but he WILL be helpful :)
I was going to take a Maymester class, but I think it's a idea better to get into our new groove without having to devote 3 hours a night to homework. That and a short break before summer classes start will be very much appreciated! I'm really anxious to know what branch I'll be working at and get to speak with the manager about my schedule. Everything is up in the air right now, and all I'm sure about is the schedule for training the first two weeks I'll be working. That's another thing that stresses me out. I hope I'll be able to go in late one morning a week so that I can take a class at the school. Chemistry and/or Physics online just isn't going to work for me. I also hope that I'll be able to leave early enough to make a night class. As a loyal follower of ratemyprofessor.com, I've learned that most of the Brit Lit professors have HORRIBLE online classes, so I don't want to chance hating my life for a semester by trying to take it online. I'm just thinking too much right now. I need to sit back and take it one day at a time. I KNOW we will all be fine, this is just the worrier in me doing it's best work.
I'm going to think positive now. I've got a week to soak up as many smiles and as much laughter as I can.
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